On May 6, I was one of the lucky few (300-odd people) who secured a ticket to see author, businesswoman and blogger Danielle LaPorte at the Art Gallery of NSW in Sydney. Danielle and The Wake Up Project had conceived the event just six days prior, and all tickets were sold out the next day, within five hours.
Lucky for me, I was (yet again) on Facebook when a friend posted about the event.
We all like to imagine ourselves as individuals, unable to be stereotyped. Yet, looking around the room, it was clear that I am a ‘type’, because I knew or recognise countless people there, including Kate Kendall, Amy Landry, Katherine Mackenzie-Smith, Patty Kikos, Emily Cordes, Claire Murray, Corona Brady, Samantha Nolan Smith, Catriona Pollard, Jess Nazarali, Trudy Simmons and many others I’m sure, who I didn’t see.
Turns out, this was one big pigeon-hole crowded with freedom-seeking individuals, in search of spirited soul.
On business
Danielle’s talk wasn’t speak specifically on business, but she’s been working for herself for umpteenth years now, in partnership (she got Steve Jobbed out of her own company), and now representing herself (with a small team). The room was filled wall-to-wall with female entrepreneurs, and she knew it.
Much of what she said was relevant, and can be applied, to business.
Enthusiasm and joy
“Enthusiasm is an elevated state,” says Danielle. “Surround yourself with ‘yes’ people who match your level of enthusiasm. I want to be surrounded by possibility people, not cynics and wet blankets. No cynics allowed.”
This has been a slow dawning realisation for me – you see, I’m surrounded by cynics and, for many years, I was one. But no more.
We know our enthusiasm is essential to our bank balance. When our attitude is fresh and we’re full of energy, business runs far better. We sell more, seamlessly and effortlessly. Our good vibes are contagious – our clients love us more, and we reciprocate.
Get going:
When you’re in business for yourself, you are your own cheerleader. As Danielle puts it “Joy reconfigures you. Our true nature is joy. But we’re afraid of it.” Do whatever is within your means to keep yourself enthusiastic and joyful in business – it’s imperative.
Stop helping people
Here’s a great one for teachers, healers and helpers – we can’t help anyone, says LaPorte, because we can’t change anyone. So what’s left? We have our experience, and the serendipity of timing – that’s it.
“Guilt goes hand-in-hand with feeling more conscious,” says Danielle. “So I try to be useful.”
Get going:
Stop trying to fight or resist feelings of guilt. Guilt is the sign of being aware of your own good fortune and recognising the interconnectedness of our planet. Rather than trying to help people, aim to be useful. Focus on building your experience and expertise, and don’t forget to always ask – timing will take care of itself.
The role of fear
“Fear always comes bearing information,” says Danielle. “So be interested in understanding what this information is, then put fear in its place.”
Fear, Danielle notes, doesn’t need to be a constant thing. “I like being in my comfort zone,” she says. “I can access better stuff there, to help me soar.”
Success is not about saying ‘yes’. As Danielle puts it, it’s far more about what you say ‘no’ to. It’s important to have real resonance with people you’re working with, so stop doing things out of a sense of obligation. Be willing to be disliked and write a “stop doing” list.
Get going:
Stop the busywork. Write yourself a ‘stop doing’ list today. Remember that fear is unavoidable if you’re challenging yourself with great things. Put it in its place.
Get familiar with failure and quit early
A popular question from an audience member about how to resist comparing ourselves unfavourably with others was answered quickly by Danielle: “Start reading failure stories. There’s always some other story behind every success.”
“Everyone has the same fears,” she adds. The flip side of comparison is envy –you recognise a burgeoning, latent quality of your own in another and this becomes envy.
The ego loves holding onto big goals. Sometimes it’s best to let go, says Danielle. Ask yourself, if it were going to happen, surely it would have happened by now?
So, hand-in-hand with saying no often and never acting from obligation, learn to quit early. Following your intuition doesn’t always work out.
Get going:
What are you holding onto that you know you should give up, but aren’t because it’s potentially humiliating to give it up? Are you tying yourself in knots rather than just learning your lesson, giving up, and moving on?
The paradox of ambition
This curly one is my current obsession – how can we harness ambition so we’re fired up, energetic, focused and productive, without letting this consume us? How do we balance fierce ambition with gratitude and contentment? (My late night ponderings …)
“How can you be fierce but flexible?” asks Danielle. “How can you want what you want with every cell in your body, without it being destructive?” Danielle notes that we must want what we want if we’re going to stand up to bullies and naysayers.
“Your creative drive is dissatisfaction,” says Danielle. “I have divine dissatisfaction which always wants more. Just don’t get brittle. Feel the rapture and the gratitude.”
Get going:
Stop waiting for permission to be granted before going after what you want. Stop feeling guilt about wanting more. Fire your creativity with dissatisfaction, embrace your ambition and know that these can be balanced with gratitude – it’s a daily paradox which, like all good things, becomes easier with time.
Photo credit: Danielle La Porte by Catherine Just.
